A Time to Grieve
by petitestars
Summary: In the days following her father's death, Sam struggles to regain control of her life.
1. Chapter 1

Title: A Time to Grieve

Author: petitestars

Rating: T

Summary: In the days following her father's death, Sam struggles to regain control of her life.

Pairings: S/J, S/P (canon)

Author's Notes: Everyone else has done one, so I have too. Post threads fic as that episode has so much Sam angst I just couldn't resist. This is Part One of Three.

***

Sam feels disconnected. As if it isn't her that sits next to her Father's lifeless body. Taking a deep breath she then lets it out slowly before placing a final, gentle kiss on his forehead. She squeezes his hand and lets go, leaving the room, and her Dad, behind.

She doesn't go far.

Jack O'Neill leans against the wall, a concerned look on his face that makes Sam's insides twist uncomfortably. She stops just before him, her body aching for comfort but not willing to take that final step.

Jack barely hesitates engulfing her in a warm hug that Sam melts into, her hands clutching at his BDU shirt. He doesn't whisper useless platitudes, he just holds her until her body stops shaking.

***

Sitting numbly in General O'Neill's office Sam listens as he outlines the specifics of Jacob Carter's funeral arrangements. Some would think it odd that Jacob Carter had prearranged his own memorial, but to Sam it was something so very much like her father that it was all she could do to swallow back more tears. There would first be the family service in Washington DC where Jacob's ashes would be buried next to his wife. Then later in the week there would be a joint military and Tok'ra service at the SGC.

Sam tuned back into Jack's voice as he explained the details.

"He didn't want any fanfare for the private family service. All you need to do is get on the plane. General Hammond will be waiting and has organized everything in DC."

"It's only been," Sam glanced at the clock, 1415, "Four hours since he died."

Jack shrugged as if organizing funerals was something he did everyday, "It's done Carter. Go home and get some rest. I'll arrange a transport to take you and Pete to the plane at 0700."

She wanted to say that she didn't want Pete at the family service. It didn't seem right when he had only met her Dad once and it was clear to her that Jacob hadn't taken a liking to her fiance. She didn't want him at her side as she buried her Dad, she wanted her team. The men who had worked and respected and knew her Dad. However Teal'c was on Dakara, Jack was tied to the base and Daniel… Daniel was nowhere to be found.

Sam opened her mouth but all that came out was a defeated, "Yes Sir."

Jack seemed to pick up on at least some of her rambling thoughts, "I want to be there Carter." His words and his voice were gentle, "But I can't leave the SGC just yet. I'll be there for the military service on Friday."

Sam felt the words thick in her throat as tears threatened and she decided to ignore the voice of reason in her head and say what she was really thinking, "You should be there for the family service. You and Teal'c and Daniel." Her words were harsh and angry but she didn't care.

"Carter," Jack's voice was pained.

Sam shook the anger and sadness away and stood up, "I'm sorry sir. Thank you for the arrangements, I'll see you when I get back."

She left before he could reply.

***

_Sam dreams that she is alone. _

_She can see the shadows of her team in the distance but when she gets closer, their images seem to melt into the darkness as if they were never there in the first place. _

_Her Dad's voice whispers in her ear. _

_Are you happy Sam?_

_Pete appears holding a bunch of roses and a wide smile on his face. She reaches out to touch him but he suddenly pulls away, a scowl replacing his cheerful expression. He turns his back to her then disappears. _

_Her Dad's voice gets louder. _

_Are you happy Sam?_

Sam wakes with tears on her face feeling so desperately lonely that she is halfway through dialing O'Neill's number on her cell phone before she fully awakens. She pauses and thinks it odd that her first instinct is to call her CO and not her fiance. Snapping her phone shut Sam lies back in her bed and begins to think.

***

Sam is surprised to see General O'Neill's truck swing into her driveway at 0650. She is even more surprised when Teal'c's hulking figure gets out of the passenger seat and approaches her sitting alone on the porch steps.

He pulls her up off the steps and embraces her in a gentle hug that belies his impressive strength. She feels the tears well up and presses her face into his chest feeling the hard steel of his muscles beneath his shirt.

"I am sorry I could not be here when Jacob Carter passed away."

Sam pulled away and looked into the Jaffa's solemn face, "You're here now."

Jack approached the pair and reached down to pick up Sam's bag, "This all you got Carter?"

Sam saw him glace around looking for Pete and she felt a stirring of guilt. She had called Pete but instead of asking him to come over she had explained the funeral was only going to be a very small family service and told him not to take the time off work. He had protested, but Sam was insistent and he had acquiesced reluctantly.

"Yes sir."

They drive in comfortable silence to the airstrip where a private plane awaits them. Teal'c boards the plane while Jack hangs back fiddling with his sunglasses.

"I'm sorry I can't go."

Sam hesitates for a moment then reaches out and wraps her arms around him. She feels relief when his own arms encircle her and he presses close, "I understand."

She thinks of Teal'c waiting for her on the plane and of Hammond, Mark and the kids in DC and the loneliness that had haunted her during the night faded.

"Call me when you get there." Jack squeezes her tightly then lets go.

***

The private service is quiet and respectful. Teal'c stands behind her, a solid and unmoving presence that she leans into when General Hammond's eulogy sparks a fresh wave of grief.

Afterward Sam lingers at the grave site with Mark while the rest of the gathering heads back to the car. Mark gives her an awkward hug. Although they have reconciled, the years of frustration and resentment has damaged their once comfortable relationship.

"He was so proud of you Sam."

Sam shakes her head, "He was proud of you too Mark." She gestured to where his kids, now teenagers, stood with Teal'c gawking at his different appearance, "He was so happy you found Lisa and that you have a wonderful family."

Mark nods, "Yeah. He was a different person to what I remember as a kid."

Sam thinks of how Selmak eased her father's rough edges and bought out a side of him that she hadn't seen since before her mother died. She wanted to tell Mark of all the things their Dad had accomplished with Selmak over the years, all the lives he had saved and the fantastic adventures that had reawakened his ailing life.

She couldn't tell him though. She could only hope that one day she would be able to share it all with him. Instead all she offers is a murmured agreement and another, much more comfortable hug.

As Mark leads her back to the car he asks, "So where is Pete?"

***

Sam lies in bed awake for an hour before realizing she just isn't going to sleep. The hotel bed is comfortable and private, Teal'c has his own room next door, but she can't quite get her brain to switch off. Her mind bounces between the images of her Dad's empty casket to a picturesque house with a sold sign out the front to the image of Daniel being beamed away before her very eyes.

Turning on the light she grabs the hotel stationary sitting by the bed, scribbling equations on the notepaper for a while before letting her mind wander. She starts a new page and writes in big letters on the page his name, _**Pete**_.

Life, like science, is always clearer to Sam when its written down in front of her. Its like the complex mathematical equations she scribbles on the whiteboard in her lab, it always helps to physically see the problem and she never fails to have a solution when it is written baldly in front of her. The bold black ink always seems like a challenge to her, and Sam Carter has never backed away from a challenge.

_**PETE, pete, Pete**_. Sam writes his name over and over again on the paper. _**Pete. Pete and Sam. Sam and Pete. Sam Shanahan. Samantha and Pete Shanahan. **_

_**Pete loves Sam**_**. **

Sam scribbles that out and writes.

_**Sam loves Pete**_.

It doesn't feel right. It doesn't sound right.

Sam sighs and turns the paper over. She writes almost unwillingly, _**Carter and O'Neill**_. Then in smaller print she writes, _**Sam and Jack**_.

A warm, comfortable feeling spreads through Sam's chest and she smiles sadly.

Picking up the pen again she writes.

_**Sam can't love Jack**_.

Then she screws up the piece of paper and throws it across the room.

***


	2. Chapter 2

Sam waves goodbye to Teal'c and opens the door to her quiet home. She unpacks her bag, puts the laundry on and empties a can of soup into a saucepan to heat, all the while trying not to think about the decisions she has to make.

The ringing of the phone interrupts her deliberate 'not thinking'.

"Hello."

"Carter, your flight back go okay?" It's O'Neill, she has barely been home an hour and he's calling to check on her. Sam tries to ignore the warm feeling that spreads through her when she hears his voice. It's not what she should be feeling.

"Yes sir the flight was fine," Sam moves to sit onto one of her kitchen stools, "The whole trip went smoothly."

"Good." There's a pause but it's not uncomfortable. "You still have the rest of the week off. Make sure you take it."

"Yes sir." Sam responds but she's sure he can hear the lack of intention to obey that order in her voice.

"Okay," she can hear him sigh, "Give me a call if you need anything."

"Sure." She's about to hang up when she thinks of the one friend that is missing, "Sir? Is there any news on Daniel?"

"No, nothing yet," Jack's voice sounds confident and he adds_, "It's __Daniel_ Carter. Death just doesn't stick to him. Mark my words he'll turn up in typical Daniel style before the week is out."

Sam hangs up the phone and goes to pour her soup into a bowl. She eats it quickly, burning her tongue in the process but ignoring the pain. She picks up the phone and dials before she has time to hesitate.

"Pete hi, it's Sam. Can we meet?"

***

Sam was not one to sit and feel sorry for herself, no matter how tempting the thought of sitting slouched on the couch with calorie laden ice cream and chocolate was. So that was why three hours after breaking up with Pete, Sam had emptied out her kitchen cupboards and was valiantly scrubbing them clean desperately trying not to think about anything remotely related to the men in her life.

She managed for a full half hour to concentrate solely on the rhythmic scrubbing of the cupboards before thoughts of Pete crept into her head. She felt the guilt weigh heavily in her stomach as she remembered his devastated expression as she broke his heart. She deserved much more than just his simple acceptance of the break-up, she deserved to be yelled at for letting a relationship she was only half committed to progress so far. She had no way to make it up to him, no way to apologise for hurting him so badly.

He wasn't the only one who'd she hurt. Sam tried not to think of Jack, he had been nothing but civil regarding her relationship to Pete but she had seen the hurt in his eyes when she'd shown him the ring. Jack had never pushed her, he had always made it clear that she was in charge of the boundaries to their relationship. She'd set the boundaries so well that they couldn't even call each other by their first names, she was only allowed that luxury in the privacy of her own mind. She'd locked her feelings so deeply in that damn room and forced herself to move on to the first man that had shown interest. Evidently Jack had moved on too. The image of a pretty brunette looking at Jack with adoring eyes tore through her mind and Sam dropped her sponge to the floor.

She gave up on scrubbing out the cupboards and returned her saucepans and cookery to the shelves. Clearly distracting herself by cleaning was no longer working. Sam gave in to the urge and slumped down onto her comfortable couch, loneliness flooding her weary body.

For the second time that day the ring of the phone broke her depressing thoughts, "Hello?"

"Sam?" Cassie's voice echoed through the phone line and Sam felt herself relax at the sound of her adopted daughter.

"Cass, hi."

"Jack just called and told me about your Dad. I'm so sorry, you should have told me and I would have met you in DC."

"I didn't want to interrupt your study Cass." Sam knew that Cassie was only just adjusting into her first year of college and she wasn't about to pull her away. Cassandra hadn't known her Dad well, and Sam didn't want Cassie to attend another funeral so soon after burying Janet barely a year previously. No matter how badly she wanted the company.

"Don't be stupid Sam," the stern tone was so reminiscent of Janet that it bought a sad smile to Sam's face, "I would have come no matter what."

"I know."

"So what's going to happen with the wedding, is it postponed or are you going ahead anyway?" Cassie's innocent question nearly broke Sam's resolve against the tears she'd been holding in since seeing Pete rip the off the sold sign earlier that afternoon.

"It's off Cass. The wedding is off."

An hour later Sam hung up the phone and grimaced at the empty packet of chocolate that now lay next to her on the couch. Cassie had been quite persuasive, even over the phone, and Sam had given in and indulged in the sweet treat while filling Cassie in on the recent change in her private life. To her credit, Cassie had waited a full thirty minutes after her announcement to ask the obvious question.

"_So what about Jack?__"_

"_What?__"_

"_Don__'__t play dumb with me Miss PhD. You know what I mean.__"_

"_Leave it alone Cass.__"_

"_When I was little I always thought you two would end up together.__"__ Cassie continued as if Sam hadn__'__t spoken, __"__I used to ask Mom what was keeping you guys apart and she never gave me a straight answer.__"_

"_Cassie.__"_

"_When I asked about the regs she told me that your situation just wasn__'__t as simple as it being against the rules.__"_

"_Cassandra please.__"__ Sam didn__'__t want to hear anymore. _

"_Okay, I__'__ll let it drop if you promise me one thing?__"_

"_Cass-__"_

"_Let him know Sam. He__'__ll be there for you. I know he will.__"_

"_Life isn__'__t a fairytale Cassie,__"__ Sam sighed, __"__Some things just weren__'__t meant to be.__"_

"_It doesn__'__t have to be fairytale perfect Sam. You just have to be happy.__"_

Cassandra's words had struck home. She'd been trying to achieve fairytale perfection with Pete and along the way she had denied herself what made her truly happy. _Not what, _Sam thought, _but who_. Her Dad had hinted at the exact same thing but she had sunken too far into denial to acknowledge what he had been saying.

Sam got off the couch abruptly, heading into the bathroom. She'd clean it from top to bottom. Scrubbing until her Dad's words stopped repeating in her head. _Are you happy Sam?_

***

Sam had barely been on base fifteen minutes, just enough time to make it to her lab and boot up her computer, when General O'Neill strode into her lab and pushed the off button on her computer. He frowned when the computer didn't respond to his repeated jabbing of the off button.

"Carter, your computer is broken. It won't turn off."

Sam sighed and rolled her eyes, "I set my computer to deactivate the off switch unless I shut my computer down properly."

"Hmmm sensible Carter." Jack stopped pressing the button, "In that case shut it down properly and go home. You're meant to be on leave."

Sam suppressed a frown, the last thing she wanted to do was the leave the base for the emptiness of her home.

"I won't stay all day sir." Sam tried to bargain with him, "Just a few hours to settle a few things then I'll head home."

"Oh no Carter," Jack pushed again at the off switch and gave it a hopeful look, "A few hours will turn into a ten hour day complete with you skipping meals. Home. Now."

"Sir-"

"Carter you need time. Go home, relax, talk to your plants, see Pete, do wedding stuff," he paused and Sam realized he had seen her face blanch suddenly at the mention of Pete's name "Or not."

Sam made the announcement quickly before she had time to think through what she was saying, "Wedding is off. Pete and I… we're over."

Sam deliberately didn't look at Jack's face, choosing instead to stare down at her lab desk. A light touch on her shoulder wasn't enough to make her lift her face towards him and she was surprised when she felt a gentle hand under her chin. Startled she looked into Jack's face and was unprepared for his look of concern and care.

"Carter," he spoke softly, "I'm sorry."

_Are you really? _The words she wanted to say were restrained and instead Sam just nodded and looked away from the intense look on his face shifting his gentle touch from her chin.

"If it makes you feel any better Teal'c and I could go round and rough him up a bit?" his voice was still soft but it had a teasing edge that Sam knew wasn't entirely humorous.

"He's not the one who broke it off. I did."

"Hell of a bad week you've had Carter." His hand returned to her shoulder and he gave it a comforting squeeze.

Sam just shrugged not ready to fully process everything that was going on, "Bit of an understatement really."

Jack nodded, "Yes well. Anything I can do. All you have to do is ask."

"Let me stay on base?"

"Carter-"

"I'll call Teal'c and he'll make sure I have lunch. I'll be off base by 1700 and promise not to stay a minute longer just _please don't make me go home_." Sam's voice cracked as she spoke.

Jack gave her a long look, "Okay Carter. Call Teal'c and tell him lunch at 1200, I'll meet you both in the commissary. I'll be in your lab at 1655 to escort you to the surface."

Sam nodded in relief, "Yes sir."

"I guess break ups are the theme of the month aren't they Carter?" Jack lobbed the question at Sam as he left her lab.

She stared at the doorway for a moment after he left letting his words sink into her brain. _I guess break ups are the theme of the month aren't they Carter? _Could he possibly mean what she thought that meant? Sam shook herself from the thought, even he had meant _that_, it wasn't anything to do with her. The boundaries had existed between them before either of them had met Pete or Kerry. The fact that they were both single meant nothing. He was just as unattainable as he was eight years ago.

_Get it through your head Sam_, she thought furiously, _you pushed him away, he isn't yours, he never was_.

***

Sam waited outside the locker room for Daniel to emerge. His miraculous reappearance, naked, in General O'Neill's office had caused one shadow on her heart to lift. One of her best friends was back, alive and seemingly unharmed. He had excitedly started to tell the team about his ascended adventures before Jack had tapped him on the shoulder with his pen and said, "Clothes first, I can't take you seriously dressed in a flag."

Sam had followed Daniel to the locker room closely, ignoring the appreciative looks that Daniel attracted from passing SGC staff. Daniel, himself appearing to not realize the adoring looks he drew, babbled continuously also not appearing to notice Sam's quietness.

When he emerged from the locker room in familiar BDUs, the SGC flag draped over his arm, Sam smiled genuinely for what seemed like the first time in weeks. He seemed surprised to find her waiting for him but he simply smiled in return and continued to talk about Dakara as they walked towards the elevator.

The relative privacy of the elevator was just enough to break through Sam's desire to cry. Her father was dead and Pete was gone but she had Daniel back. She felt she had no right to feel such relief and happiness when everything in her life was so messed up. A tear slipped down her cheek and Daniel halted mid babble and placed a hand on her arm.

"Sam?" Daniel was frowning at her expression, "Everything okay?"

She stepped forward and hugged him tightly. Daniel's arm curled around her protectively not even hesitating to engulf her in a warm hug.

"It's been bad here lately that's all," Sam sniffed, "I really missed you."

Daniel pulled back slightly to look her in the face, "Oh? I'm sorry I wasn't here."

"Me too."

"How about we debrief with Jack and the others then you and I can go back to my place and drink a bottle wine. Each." he made the offer lightly but Sam could see the deeper concern in his eyes. She didn't often give displays of such emotion, let alone at work, so she knew that Daniel was aware of that something was seriously amiss.

Glad for the plan of company for the evening Sam nodded, "Sounds good."

***

Sam winced as the sunlight streamed through the open curtains and aggravated her pounding head. Daniel had been true to his word, he had brought her back to his apartment and plied her with wine. Daniel had held her tightly when she spoke of her Father and topped her empty glass with more wine when she recounted her break-up with Pete. It had been exactly what she needed. Despite the lingering hangover, Sam felt that at least some of the heavy weight that she'd been carrying had lightened somewhat.

Sam got out of bed, groaning as her stomach protested at the sudden change in gravity. It was 45 minutes later, after a long shower and a couple of advil, that Sam felt well enough to eat. She'd just sat down to test her stomach against some toast when a knock on the door interrupted the quiet of her home.

She opened the door to reveal a nervous looking Jack O'Neill standing on her front porch, dressed casually, swinging his keys around his finger.

"General." Sam pulled her worn sweatshirt down self consciously. She hadn't been expecting guests and was planning to change into her BDUs and head into the SGC as soon as she'd eaten.

"Carter," Jack grinned and moved past her into her house as she gestured him inside, "Thought I'd stop by on my way into work."

Sam glanced at the clock, "It's 1015, running a little late sir?"

Jack shrugged, "One little blemish on my record isn't going to hurt."

Sam rolled her eyes and smiled trying to conceal how uneasy she was of his presence in her home. She'd felt free last night when she talked with Daniel, but they hadn't touched upon the last burden on her conscience, Jack. She suspected Daniel knew of the tension between his two teammates, but it wasn't something they had ever discussed. She wasn't sure if it was because Daniel didn't approve or because he didn't realize how deep the feelings ran.

"So what can I do for you General?"

"Well since I assume you aren't going to take the rest of this week off like I ordered you too I thought I'd take the liberty myself to change your assigned leave to next week."

"What? Sir there's no need for me to take time off." Sam was puzzled, she thought she'd made it clear she had no desire to stay away from work. He knew work was her coping mechanism.

"Carter, you just lost your Dad," Jack's voice took on that gentle tone that made her insides flip, "Amongst other life changes. You need time away."

Sam felt the weight of spending a week alone crash down on her, "Sir, really I'm fine." She hoped he hadn't heard the tremor in her voice.

"I know it's hard to be…" Jack paused, looking uncomfortable, "alone, when things aren't… great. So the rest of us are taking leave too."

"The rest of…" Sam frowned, not understanding what he was saying.

"Daniel, Teal'c and I are on leave too as of Saturday."

Sam swallowed against the gratitude that swept through her, they weren't leaving her alone. _Jack_ wasn't leaving her alone. After all she'd done, he was still there for her. _Always_.

"A week's leave huh? Any specific plans?" Sam didn't care if they planned to watch jello wrestling and bad scifi every day of the week so long as the guys were spending the time with her.

"I was thinking Minnesota actually," Sam could see the nerves Jack was trying to hide from her come back in full force as he started playing with his keys again, "Fishing. You and Me."

Sam tried to not let her mouth drop open in shock.

"And the team of course." Jack added hastily giving her a flustered grin.

It had been years since he'd asked her to go fishing. She had shot him down so many times he had just stopped asking. Stopped hinting at what was waiting for her when she was ready to drop the boundaries and go with him to Minnesota.

"That sounds perfect."

Jack grinned, "Excellent. I'll organize everything. All you have to do is pack."

"Okay, pack. I can do that." Sam tried in vain to move past the shock. She was going fishing. With Jack. In Minnesota.

"You can do anything Carter." Jack said the words affectionately and Sam knew he meant it, "I best be off. Walter's probably given himself a lethal paper cut in his panic at my out of character lateness."

"Of course Sir. I wouldn't want to be responsible for any further blemishes on your record."

Jack laughed as he let himself out the front door, Sam close behind. Just before he got clear of the porch Sam called him back.

"Sir?"

"Yes Carter?"

"Thank you. For being here, for everything" She hoped he understood what she wasn't saying. _Thank you for not leaving me alone when I've done everything to push you away._

Jack walked forward and hugged her lightly in response. Sam sunk into his arms and shivered when he pressed a kiss to the top of head.

"Always Carter."

***

One more chapter to go.


	3. Chapter 3

Thanks for those who reviewed. Always interested in feedback and both good and bad.

***

Sg1's locker room was quiet. Sam dressed alone trying to ignore the shaking of her hands as she buttoned her jacket. She had once revelled in wearing her dress blues, she wore them proudly, evidence of her achievements as an Air Force Officer. The first time she had worn her uniform in front of her Father it was at her academy graduation. She had invited both Mark and her Dad, not really expecting either to come. Mark was angry at her career choice and wanted nothing to do with anything military. Her Father was working overseas and he'd missed so many milestones in her life that she didn't bother to hope for his arrival. Against the odds Jacob had taken an overnight flight making it to her graduation just in time and although he hadn't said the words, she had seen the pride in his eyes.

Since working at the SGC however she had worn her dress uniform to too many funerals to feel comfortable in them. The uniform seemed to represent the sad memories she had of attending the numerous services for her fallen friends. Putting them on for her Father's final military memorial was a particularly painful experience.

"You nearly ready Sam?" Daniel popped his head round the door with his eyes shut.

"I'm decent Daniel, you can open your eyes."

Daniel stepped into the room hands in his pockets, he looked sharp in his suit and his calm, familiar appearance soothed her slightly.

"Time to start is it?"

"We still have a little time. I was just coming to see if you were ok?"

Sam shrugged standing up and straightening her uniform, "I'm fine."

"Sam." Daniel's voice was disbelieving.

"No really, I should have lost him years ago-"

"Doesn't mean that saying goodbye now is any easier." Daniel interrupted her.

"I always thought that he and Selmak would outlive me." Sam admitted sitting back

down onto the bench. Daniel sat down next to her running a comforting hand down her arm as she continued to speak.

"He didn't approve of Pete. He didn't think he made me happy." Sam sighed, "I lied and told him everything was fine but I could see he didn't believe it. He was disappointed in me, he died and he was thinking that I…" she trailed off.

"No Sam, he died knowing that you loved him. He was so proud of you."

"You weren't there Daniel," Sam tired to ignore it as Daniel flinched at her comment, "He kept trying to tell me and I wouldn't listen."

"You listened Sam," Daniel said firmly, "You've made the right decision with Pete and your Dad wouldn't want you to be upset about what he said. He just wanted you to be happy."

Sam nodded feeling at least some of Daniel's words sink in. They sat in silence until Teal'c knocked quietly at the door, General O'Neill at his heels.

"Colonel Carter it is time."

Sam stood, straightening her uniform and went to say goodbye to her Dad one last time.

***

"Alrighty," Jack clapped his hands together and pointed down the small hallway that led to the bedrooms in the cabin, "Daniel, Teal'c your room is the one right at the end of the hallway. You can wrestle over which one of you gets the bed and which one gets the pullout."

Teal'c raised an eyebrow at Daniel and stepped towards him dropping his bags and assuming a fighting stance.

"Uh Teal'c it's fine. I'm happy with the pullout." Daniel looked panicked.

Teal'c straightened and picked up his bags, only allowing Sam to see the smirk on his normally stoic face.

"Carter you can have the master bedroom, first door on the left, I've got the spare room opposite. Any questions?"

"Where's the bathroom?" Sam asked praying that it was inside the cabin.

"Second door on the left," Jack picked up his own bag, "I'll leave you all to settle in and freshen up. Dinner is at 1900."

"Freshen up?" Daniel's voice was bemused.

"Yes Daniel, you stink." Jack said pointedly, "I was trying to be polite in front of the lady."

Sam snorted, "How considerate of you sir, but I was sitting next to Daniel on the plane and am quite aware that he stinks."

"The flight was long!" Daniel defended himself, "And I packed my deodorant in my checked baggage."

"Excuses, excuses. Dinner, 1900."

Sam followed the General down the hall disappearing into her own room as Daniel continued to splutter in his defence.

Her room was nice, plain and small but homely and welcoming. Sam ran her hand over the worn quilt on the bed and admired the antique looking wooden furniture. It was exactly how she'd imagined. Well not exactly, Sam admitted to herself staring at the queen size bed which would be half empty come bedtime.

"Eight years." Sam murmured to herself, she'd loved him for at least half of those eight years but now she didn't know how to proceed with Jack, didn't even know how to start the conversation she had been both dreading and dreaming of for years. As always Jack hadn't taken a step over the boundaries she had set. It was in her hands, but Sam just didn't know what to do.

***

After dinner Teal'c retired to his room with his portable dvd player and his stack of movies. Daniel parked himself on the couch with his own stack of archaeology journals and a pen telling Sam he liked to highlight the information he knew to be fake for his own personal amusement. Jack cleared the table and dumped his fishing gear on top, he reached for the tangled line and patiently started working at the mess of knots.

Sam paused for a moment, tempted to join the General but still not knowing what to say. Grabbing her book she left for her room settling onto her bed and opening the book to the first page. She'd barely made it through page two when Teal'c appeared at her doorway.

"May I enter your room Colonel Carter?"

"Of course Teal'c." Sam put her book down as the big Jaffa entered the room, closed the door and seated himself on the end of her bed.

"I wish to speak with you about your Father." Teal'c looked at her solemnly.

"Oh," Sam shifted, "Sure, okay."

"Your Father and Selmak were true warriors to the cause. They were wise and honourable and will never be forgotten for what they did on Dakara."

"Teal'c, that's…" Sam couldn't speak past the tears in her throat. Teal'c leaned forward and placed a warm hand on her knee.

"I did not mean to cause you pain," Teal'c frowned, "I will go."

"No Teal'c," Sam placed a hand over his, "That was a wonderful thing that you said. He would be honoured that you thought that of him."

"I wanted you to know that the Jaffa will be making a memorial to honour those lost in the battle on Dakara. I would like your permission to include Jacob Carter's name on the list of lost warriors."

Sam nodded, "He would like that."

Teal'c nodded and made a move to stand, "I will leave you to your reading."

"No wait, Teal'c stay." Sam wasn't ready to give up his company just yet, "Could we just talk for awhile."

"Of what would you like to talk about?" Teal'c nodded and settled himself more comfortably on the bed.

Sam wondered how to approach the topic, how much did the Jaffa know about Earth relationships? How could she be subtle in asking Teal'c how she should proceed with Jack?

"How are you and Ishta going?" Sam thought it was the perfect opening to the conversation.

"Good." Teal'c stated, his tone effectively ending further discussion.

Sam grimaced, she had forgotten Teal'c's desire to keep his relationship with Ista quiet. For all the tabloids he read, Teal'c was not exactly the gossiping type.

"Never mind, you go back to watching your dvds."

Teal'c nodded, "Are you sure? We could… talk further."

"I'm sure."

Teal'c had just reached the door when he turned around and regarded her with a knowing look, "O'Neill is ready Colonel Carter. He is merely waiting for you."

Sam paused and whispered, "I don't how to… start."

"I once discussed with Doctor Frasier about Earth relationships and their progression after Cassandra began her relationship with Dominic. She informed me of the relationship between baseball and stages of intimacy."

Sam was confused for a moment until it clicked in her head, "Oh you mean bases. First base, second base and so on."

"Yes."

Sam tried to imagine the tiny brunette explaining the bases to Teal'c and suppressed a smile, "I'm not sure what teenage relationships have to do with the situation between me and… Jack."

"Are the principles not the same?" Teal'c asked, "What is the logical first step once you are both aware of mutual feelings."

Sam frowned, "Spending time together, first date?"

Teal'c shook his head patiently, "I believe you and O'Neill have spent significant time together already over the previous eight years."

"You mean first base?" Sam looked at Teal'c in amusement, "Teal'c the General and I are not teenagers, sometimes the simple approach is not the right one when there are other factors involved."

"Have you and Daniel Jackson not discussed General O'Neill's preoccupation with video games and The Simpsons as teenage behaviour?"

"Yes but-"

"Sometimes the simplest approach **is** the best approach Colonel Carter." Teal'c smiled.

"So your saying I should just kiss him."

Teal'c shrugged, "I am saying that with a man such as O'Neill, the direct approach is the most effective. A kiss is both direct and simple."

Sam gave Teal'c a sceptical look, "Never knew you to be a romantic Teal'c."

Teal'c bowed his head at her and said no more on the subject, "Goodnight Colonel Carter."

***

Two hours later Sam heard Daniel say his goodnights and head to bed. General O'Neill was still untangling his lines on the table and Sam heard him mutter in irritation to himself as he worked on the stubborn knots.

She had stared for two hours at her book with unseeing eyes, considering Teal'c's approach in her head. Would simple be enough? Their jobs were still a factor, regulations where in place and Sam hated the thought of breaking the rules. Although even having the feelings she had for the General were against the rules so technically they were already broken. One little kiss wouldn't be too bad would it? After that, they could talk, if he pushed her away at least she would have the memory of his lips against hers.

Sam was up and out of her room before she could talk herself out of it. Jack was packing up, he stood with his back towards her but turned at the sound of her footsteps.

"Carter, can't sleep?"

"Not exactly." Sam moved closer.

"Too many thoughts in your head?" Jack gave her a concerned look when she nodded, "Anything I can help you with?"

Sam smiled nervously and moved to stand directly in front of him, "Yes"

They were both barefoot and Sam was just a few inches shorter than him, keeping a small amount of space between their bodies Sam tilted her head up and pressed her lips to his.

A kiss.

***

The End

To be continued… in the sequel. Which has stalled in the planning stages, so I'm hoping that by posting this I'll be inspired to continue!

Also, I'm in the market for a new beta reader as my old one has left the Sg1 fandom. If anyone is interested drop me a PM.


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